Sunday, September 16, 2012

Attack of the Tots

Have you ever had sodium-induced vertigo? Its a real weird time. The last big event hit me after a night of reckless gorging on Tater Tots®. I was in Portland, Oregon at a friend's house, and for some reason all of us (normally food-sensible folks in our 30's and 40's) decided to pretend we were 21 and consume ridiculous amounts of the barrel-shaped potato units. And the next morning, I stood up and promptly fell over. The spells came and went for a week or so.

I'm usually pretty careful about food. Things I love the most include wild salmon, mustard greens, brown rice, seaweed, avocado, and yams. I don't dine out too often (I like to cook), and if I do, you'll usually find me at the Casino ingesting magical Dungeness Crab and other shellfish delights. Its what grows around here. I also calculated that I managed to put away 11 pounds of blueberries in the past month. Aside from two berry crisps and two batches of blueberry muffins, I take full responsibility for the execution of so many berries, as the freezer is now devoid of their presence. Kefir + Frozen Bluebs + Blender = my daily breakfast. I'm guessing I'm extremely un-oxidized.

But for all of my good behavior, there are moments of convenience and terrible decisions are made. On friday, in Portland (again! something about PDX makes me stray into dangerous deep-fry territory), I was short on time and tall on hunger and had to cram something into my gullet pre-show. Bar food was had. A tuna melt and fries were my dinner. Breakfast the next morning consisted of a croissant w/ soysage, something I would never, ever, neverever eat at home! Today I looked in the mirror upon rising and I have strangely aged about twenty years. There are puffy sodium bags under my eyes and my skin is all parched. I look, as they say, like shit.

So its back to clean-jeans territory for me. There are touches of vertigo floating around me this morning. Lean my head back and to the right, say, to look at a bird flying by, and the world spins. Its not fun. I guess its a thing? Time to go on a hydration binge.